Novelty Item Admirers Pillows

'I'm getting the feeling you want a refund. But why? Let me consult my ball...'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

It's great for pulling the birds!

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Elton John

'Now what?!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'These new metal detectors are great!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

Leaking backpack.

"Krazy straw"

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

The Old Curiosity Shop

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Drinking Hats

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

101 uses of a dead cat: desk spike

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

Fakirs uses a back scratcher.