Novelty Eyewear Collector Pillows

'I'll need you to wear these novelty glasses, Scott. Nobody's going to let you watch over their money with those beady little eyes.'

Clown on bike.

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

"Recalculating route..."

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

Fossil record player.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Lavatory Waterfall

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Rogue elephant

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'Let there be cool.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.