Novelty Eater T-Shirts

The jungle grill!

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Soup of the month.

Raincloud Umbrella

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Bathroom Fairy

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Mohammad's motors

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Toenail clipping missile.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

"Call me!"