Novelty Snacker T-Shirts

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Super Heroes.

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Breakfast surreal.

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You complete me."

"It's a map to the vending machines."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Because it's there!'

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

Honest Vending Machine