Novelist Fan Gifts

'Bront?saurus.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

The DaVinci Code

Thomas Mann.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Silence of the Chickens...

John Bunyan

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"So the white whale was really just a metaphor for your mother's lack of affection?"

"Well, we needed the rain."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family