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Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Do you have anything by Jackie Collins?

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You know too much,'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'What clan do you belong to?'

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

Useless add-ons.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Blue Stockings

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'

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