Novel Nemesis T-Shirts

American Idle.

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

Book Lovers in Richmond

Stop smoking,instantly.

Librarian Watches As Woman Climbs The Bookshelves

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

'Isn't that cute. She's writing her first novel.'

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

That's it. I'm killing that moth.

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

Finally free of cable TV costs

Tortured by music

"Sorry about that. He doesn't like bikes."

'The End is Near'

'Attention!!! You wolves down there!!! Get away from my door!!! I'm doing the best that I can!!!'

Insecticide.

England training camp "Keeps 'em out of the nightclubs."

"I'll be studying with Cruz at house."

Angry man shoots at musical notes from guitar player.

'What would you like to eat with your book tonight?'

"I just had a remake of a nightmare I had as a child. The special effects were much scarier."

"Hello, Mr. Gottlieb of Acme Telemarketing? Oh, did I interrupt your dinner...?"

'You don't have a life to turn into a story.'

'He's taking the No Smoking Day very seriously.'

'Wouldn't it be easier to change your network Dear?'

'I'll look for apples -- you keep an eye out for early birds.'

Sadie, I just read that the moon used to be a lot closer to earth. You? "Read"? Yes, I read all the time. It takes you that long to read a book? Now that's not nice, Mrs. Cohen. We don't have to go at each other all the time, do we? I dream of a day when you and I can let bygones be bygones, embrace one another, and give each other the respect each of us deserves. Nothing doing! Come on, Sadie. Don't you ever wonder how happy we could be if we called a cease-fire? How about it? ... Friends? (Sig

"I remember telling you to go to hell, too."

So, arch-nemesis, you need my help. What for, pray tell? Mumble, mumble, mumble … Speak up, person who needs my side counsel. Oh, fine! I need help using a computer. And thus the heavens opened and light shone upon the world. Worst day of my life.