Novel Condenser Gifts

Little Women in Love in the Time of Cholera

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Larry was always invited on camping trips because of his ice chest

I love Harmonica

'Sure, I cam up with fire, and the wheel, but you're only as good as your last idea.'

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

Baker

'Look, dear. Our printer's first words.'

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

Man with giant firework strapped to his back has colleague light the fuse

'I just upgraded to high definition thoughts but there's still nothin' on ...'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'If you're a good boy, Santa will bring you tires next year.'

Head of Waste Dispoal - Recycled Ideas/Rubbish Ideas.

"I think we must have accidentally set the freezers in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius."

"This looks like a good spot."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

'George is real handy. He made this table out of an old tractor tire.'

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

"I've got my entire record collection on my phone. . ."

"We accept personal data as payment. What's your preferred brand of toothpaste?"

See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.

"I saw you got a new garden hose."

Eskimo putting food in a refrigerator

Beachcomber wears his hair in a combover fashion.