Notifications Pillows

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Lynching on social media

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'How fast can you hype?'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

The fate of the emigrant

Campaign for Plain English

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)