Notes Scribbler T-Shirts

Replacement Bus Spotters.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

When Cells Divide

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Hans Holbein

Solve for x x r 2.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

How to create a brilliant cartoon

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

Musical Prodigy

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Astrophysics made simple.

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

A pen spewing letters

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

Theoretical mathematician proving why he's had all he can take.

Saturday marathon introductory English class: Hour 12.

'I see the problem, Gibson- you forgot to borrow from your neighbor there in step 3.'

"Careful - it's full of lies."