Notebook Collector Gifts

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'I'm a reviewer now.'

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Sign my yearbook?"

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Divine Desk Bins

'A is for Arse.'

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

'Early Laptops.'

"I have an app for that."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

You trip on it, you buy it.

Home Sweet Second Home.

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

'At last we have found 'The Land of the Obsolete Hardware','

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

The old fashioned, never say die author: 'All right, if they're remaindered, I'll sign the remainders.'

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"