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Throwing Away Music

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

My other cello is a Stradivari

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

Intellectual Property

"Name your sources."

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.

How Romans give each other a high five...

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Sushi Train Spotters

Sharp Eyes

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"Ok clss pls trn ur pprs ovr n strt :)"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

The Vertically Challenged Oxford Dictionary.

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'But, Mom -- you're always telling everyone to do the math.'

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

"I sell them for Website names."

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudence, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

'I wish we were just called T-Rex...'

"A few centuries ago, there was a very primitive system for data transmission: it was called Synapse.