Nostalgic Phone User Pillows

Kid at front door with mobile. 'Hello Mrs. Howser. Can Jason come out to play?'

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

'I still love those classic solos from the 70s - but who has the time?'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

TV Repair 101.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

'You've got E.I.E.I.O mail'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

'Hello, ACME Exterminators,,, ,,,Hello'

Email in a bottle.

'You help me with my homework and I'll help you with the timer on the video recorder!'

'I like getting my news online, but I miss annoying people with excessive, newspaper rustling noises.'

'Hello Cynthia, it's me...I thought I'd phone for a natter, Gerald's fallen asleep in front of the TV...trying to program the video.'

"What's a phone book?"

'I think Miss Jones is winning her fight against computerisation, gentlemen!'

'That's a fax machine. The older guys use it to send messages.'

'Help! As a contrarian I invested in rotary and supersized phones.'

'I was apathetic when I was your age, too, but I didn't have an app for it.'

'I though I'd developed tinnitus, then I remembered we still have a landline.'

"Our carrier pigeon died. Maybe it was time to update our communication system, anyway."

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

"I should warn you, I'm expecting a call."

Myspace then and now.

'I don't know what was more traumatic: cutting the umbilical cord or the land line.'

"Can I call you back, I'm in a bad place at the moment."

Go to meeting, Zoom, remote learning, embeddable video, skypting. . . and you still haven't mastered your VCR.

"No, it's not a sinkhole. My old computer tower was so big and heavy, I dropped it."

Endangered Species

The victims of technological advances...

Early phone sex lines - 'I'm lifting my petticoat...and there's my ankle!'

'Are you kidding?! You expect me to do my homework with dial up?!'

Nokia tunes.

'Hello, Billy I thought I told you to turn off that cell phone,'