Nostalgic Phone Talker Pillows

Early phone sex lines - 'I'm lifting my petticoat...and there's my ankle!'

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.

Old Man Journal

Old cold warriors home: 'By god, I'll tell you who was soft on communism. . .'

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

Come to think of it...I could do with a showcase kitchen as it goes...

"I'm on the haywain."

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

Homer

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."

Little Known Scenes From History: Alexander Graham Bell in prison inventing the phone so he can make his one call after being arrested.

"It was a long afternoon with granddad. I got five 'I remember whens' and three 'When I was your age...'."

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

"Now when I was a lad..."

"Of course we've already had this conversation. There isn't a conversation we haven't already had."