Nostalgic Modernist Pillows

"I was a lonesome cowboy until I got this damn telephone."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Lost Diary'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

Tom slowly started to realize that romantic gestures of the early 90's didn't work anymore.

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"The record player is skipping again."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"We need to complain to Earth's tech leaders about going wireless."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'