Nostalgic Painter Pillows

'Cut it out!'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

Old Spice

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

Scales

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"We need to complain to Earth's tech leaders about going wireless."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'Shoot, son, if you work real hard and stick to it, I reckon you can grow up to impersonate anyone you want.'

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'

'Look around Dad. This was once all yours...'

Sucking Up to Gen X

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

Today's problems should have been solved in the 1950s, but in the '50s we were solving the problems of the '20s, and in the 20's we were solving the problems of the 1890's.

"I miss Nixon."

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

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