Nostalgist Pillows

"My wife is recording everything the kids do until they leave for college. Then I'll binge-watch them grow up."

'When I was a kid, all this was fields.'

"I miss Nixon."

"Oh, Marty! Our first gray hair!"

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

When I was a kid, I dreamed of going to medical school. I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Really? But I was great at football, wound up playing in college and got derailed. Everything came so easy. Who needed medical school? House of Java.net Cybercafe. But maybe what really happened was that I suffered concussions, and lost my drive and ability. and not I just hang out all day and serve as a sex object for hot chicks. Worked out beautifully. I need to get some concussions.

"We used to be a nation of laws."

Uh oh, it's...Mondo Man.

'But we can laugh now remembering the time Bob failed to back up our 'History of Western Civilization' CD ..'

'I remember when you were just fields son.'

'Go ahead -- pull Oog's finger!'

'...And when I was nine years old, my parents got me a RICKY Mouse watch!'

'What happened to good old fashioned music where you can't hear the words?'

"Oh, I'm not in there - I was vote most likely to be inadvertently LEFT OUT of the yearbook."

"We've kicked all our bad habits. Now what do we do for fun?"

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"