Nostalgic Painter Gifts

'Cut it out!'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Old Spice

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

Scales

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

"We need to complain to Earth's tech leaders about going wireless."

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

'Look around Dad. This was once all yours...'

"I miss Nixon."

"Coot. How many times has he said that?"

Home for the Holidays

Today's problems should have been solved in the 1950s, but in the '50s we were solving the problems of the '20s, and in the 20's we were solving the problems of the 1890's.