Nostalgic Romantics Pillows

'Remember when we used to make love, you used to bite my neck?'

I thought playing footsie went out with the horse and carriage. Perhaps, but for me, it still has that new-buggy smell.

"In my day, you kissed only people you had every intention of marrying. But you didn't want to marry a bad kisser, so there was a lot of pre-marital planning."

'When we first met you used to take the cigarette out when you kissed me!'

"No, right house but 30 years too late."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

Date Night

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Lost Diary'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Transylvanian Snails.

Aging together

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Tom slowly started to realize that romantic gestures of the early 90's didn't work anymore.

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.