Nostalgic Philosopher Pillows

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

'Instant? I remember when we were young and you made karma from scratch.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Lost Diary'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"We need to complain to Earth's tech leaders about going wireless."

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."