Nostalgic Academic Pillows

'I had just assumed the college alumni solicitation letters would stop up here.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

'Lost Diary'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Lambs to the Slaughter

"Gentlemen, on my signal, walk ten paces, turn around, and try to remember why you came out here."

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

When he was 16, Ed's dad gave him his choice between a car and a computer. Now he sits, busted down, far from the edge of the info superhighway!

"I worry about today's kids, all they want to do is sit in the cave and stare at the fire."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

Golden Oldies: "Hey! Remember this great chart from the nineties?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."