Nostalgic Knitter Gifts

"Remember when we were members of a desirable demographic?"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

Print Suicide

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'Lost Diary'

An Appreciation

octopus knitting a jumper...

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

Sportknitting

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

My mom says this story is a "real page turner." I have no idea what she means by that.

Bib's E-Book Readers.

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood. Greetings.

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"Coot. How many times has he said that?"

"The nice thing about school is it makes you appreciate summer more."

"You're wasting your time. They'll just lose them."

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

'I used to be somebody. . . I used to be a contender. . .'

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

"Have you got room for a hand-knitted pullover?"

'Forget it, Mum, I don't support them anymore.'

Multitasking

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

"Walter didn't catch any fish today, but I managed to finish two sweaters."