Nostalgic Gift-giver T-Shirts

"I got an Orange for Xmas and my brother got an Apple"

'Because Santa doesn't have an e-mail address or a Twitter account. That's why you have to learn how to use a pencil.'

"First of all, I want you to know that I've got all the socks and underwear I need."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Louis Armstrong

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Before the Internet

'Bring out yer books!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

The Statue of Liberty: A Journey Fan

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"