Nostalgic Football Fan Gifts

"In honor of high school football season starting, he decided to put his old interview on. Do you have a phone, I may need to call 911."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

Senior Jeopardy!

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Remarkable run-ups 1890-1940

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

Crap others threw out

Suzanne Lenglen

The Wright Brothers' First Flyer

Angels making snow humans

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

"You've still got it Joao."

You're not a little girl anymore

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'I finally memorized my social security number.'

Indians Smoke Signals.

'I was a multi-millionaire back when it meant something.'

Jack-in-the-box reads 'It's almost March again!'

"What do you say, Dad—want to hack a few?"

Thatcher's child

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

Rugby golden oldies.

"Greatest Band?"

More Fifa officials indicted over bribery scandal

'Oh, for the good old peaceful test match.'

Jack Johnson

"One moment while Mommy waxes nostalgic."

Late Night TV

The boys and I decided to get revenge on Congress by buying their web browsing histories. What "boys"? You have "boys," Mort? Of course. Every week I get together with fellow WWII and Korean War Vets, and we play poker, watch "Three Stooges" movie reels ... plot to retake government from the younger stupider generations ... There was a whole lot of stupidity in your generation's leaders too, Mort. Yes ... but our stupidity was a lot classier.

Is there anything wrong, doctor? I thought drum solos went out with the 1960s.

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

The Professionals.

Mr. Tater Tot

"When I was your age I had to go out and mark my territory to send a message."