Nose Job Newbie T-Shirts

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

Batman's Baby

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up.

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

Lifesaver for Captain and his Teddy

'That should do it. We'll see you in six months for your next cleaning.'

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'See what happens when you bite your nails.'

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

Sharing Interests. Husband has taken up knitting.

'Hereafter you sew your own buttons on your suits of armor. This is the tenth needle I've ruined tonight.'

Plastic surgeon's here.

'I think we should look into a smaller hammer and bigger nails for your next do-it-yourself project'

"You may well have been here first but it doesn't work like that."

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

"Yes, we need someone to test a run of facial tissue. What makes you qualified?"

Man following advice on preventing sea-sickness but becoming sea-sick anyway

"Oops."

Man: 'Could you do something about these glasses? They keep slipping down the bridge of my nose.'

The neames of hardware items are often hard to remember...'I'm looking for a box of metallic pins about 1 inch long and with a pointed tip with a sort of circular surface?' 'Nails! Aisle 2B'

Man raised flag of drowning women.

"Mr Sinclair, rhinoplastry is an art. Our first step is to spend some time on the grindstone."

Neti Potheads

Lady regarding man exiting 'Rhinoplasty' room: 'I don't know. I think the sign is abundantly clear.'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

'Now that's what I call a Roman nose!'