Northern Spirit Appreciator Pillows

"Eee.. what ails thee lass?"

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'I need to start dancing to the beat of a different drum.'

Dogs in heaven with collar halos.

Davy Crocat

William Tell in his younger years.

Future Old People

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

"Who has been naughty and who has been nice?"

Cornish Pirate Gareth Steenson.

"When you said meet me at your workplace, I assumed you had an office!"

'The Boss has got his Xmas decorations up early this year!'

'But mom, age 10 is the new 15.'

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

'I may have lost, but I gave as good as I got.' 'Yes, indeed. We saw you beating the hell out of the referee.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"This 'Custodians of the Countryside' thing has probably gone far enough..."

"Northern pole all-nighter

'Great performance. He was going for a triple bypass, and he did a quadruple.'

Final Round of Biggest Snoozer.

"Well, it look like somebody has the Christmas spirit."

"What part of Noh don't you understand?"

Northern stereotype on website called 'Eee-By- Gum- Bay'.

I love myself.

"Some days I wake up and feel so old..."

Chutzpah 50c.

'Baggy jeans are ideal for walking through puddles, your majesty.'

'But enough about losses, Mrs. Goodwin. Let's talk about spiritual gain.'

Are we inviting invisible friends?

'I don't know how I'm going to get this down the chimney.'

Thoughts and Prayers

A dying man gives Death the bird

'As a Northern couple we've always believed in microclimate change; put on some shorts and a T-shirt and you might as well be in Torremolinos.'

'Look, it's Saunders, formerly from accounting. He never was much of a team player.'

'Don't ask me how I know you took far too many drugs in the sixties. I just know.'