North Vs South Pillows

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

Last Chance For Reality

"Shape up, son! You want to be a dung beetle the rest of your life?"

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

'Just because you keep getting lost on the way to work is no proof that the Universe is non-Euclidean!'

Dad using a child's tricycle to do a stunt while mom and a child look on

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

Elves riding on a match box sleigh with mouse on top.

"What? You've never been to Waffle House? I guess it is kind of a regional thing."

A Redneck Cupid with a shotgun about to fire open a Boy and Girl redneck couple.

"I'm on the internet, dad...I am trolling!"

'Your job on these shirts is to translate the washing instructions in 49 different languages.'

"Just how do you propose to pay for this giveaway?"

"Aye, Arthur were kitchen sink before all them young lads in the sixties."

Nothing but snow and ice for 1500 miles -- how does he DO it?

"Northern pole all-nighter

Are the North Pole bars closed?

A Redneck Christmas

Diocese of South Carolina!

Cowboy spreading true grit on snow

A northern cow

RIP Tommy Brown, Northern club comedian, famous catchphrase "You can't beat a good fry-up."

'What's an OFF season?'

'I'm learning to say Y'all and I like Grits.'

Hey y'all.

"Oh sure - you could move to Arizona - but, you wouldn't have our wonderful change of seasons!"

Going South.

'It's no use Jim-Bob. Ever since I got that gap between my teeth fixed, I can't play the banjo!!

OWT - NOWT.

You Are Here

"Straight down the high street, follow your nose. On second thoughts... follow my arm!"

(Pickup trucks, whiskey, hangovers, wild women, what are these things....?)

Yorkshireman at desk. Trays read: IN, NOWT.

Yorkshire Lass