Noose Novelty Seeker T-Shirts

"O.K., I'll talk."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Useless add-ons.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Toenail clipping missile.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Man plays the piano with two Octopus.

His & Hers towels for Electrical Plugs and Sockets.

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.