Non Sequitur Collector Pillows

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

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The polar olympics

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

The New World Order

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Bottletrees.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Your shout!"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

'How old is this vase?'

'Hello, please take care of my ship in a bottle.'

Wine: New and Old.

Edgar Wallace.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'