Like Collector Pillows

"Time to prop up my ego. . ."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Duck Hunt

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Ice shelfie.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.