Non-alcoholic Beverages Pillows

The Guy Who Invented An Alcohol Substitute

'We don't need a designated driver if we're drinking root beer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

On holiday.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Selling lemon latt�

'No ice.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Steak Ted?'

Cat Nip.

Low-Energy Drinks

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

You've Had Enough!

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

The Alpha Seltzer

Tea of Love

Beers

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

Margarita

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."