Noise-sensitive Parent Gifts

The room for adults who like to complain about children making noise at church

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

Music for car stereos

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

'Quiet with your crisps please, I can't hear the film.'

Turn that noise down !

"What the?! They're installing a wind-chime in our tree! I can't stand the things: we have to move!"

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

You are what you collect.

Has Your Cat Always Had Such a Loud Purr...?

"Poor baby! You can come out now... all that nasty banging has stopped!"

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

An advertisement in an apartment window reads 'Drum Kit For Sale' - the sign in the neighbours window reads 'Thank God!'.

"God...I hate elevator music."

Ear Plugs for Aliens.

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

'Sure, it's nice of the farmer to leave us to graze freely in the mountains, but this darn bell is driving me crazy...'

"You know that summer's arrived when you can hear four different radio stations from your own lawn."

Happy Fourth of July!

Open Top Car Stereo volume control, 'irritate', 'annoy', 'enrage'

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

Noisy Neighbours