Noise Connoisseur Gifts

Noisy Neighbours.

'Sounds of the office, 50c.'

"As I said before, I can't hear a word you're saying."

Everything makes a noise except the hooter!

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

Baroque Peacock

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

The Gettysburg Address in process.

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Scarpia's Palace

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

Jerry Brown.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Music for car stereos

"You know damn well what noise!"

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Library Grand Opening

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

Playing dustbins

"Harold, it's good you listen to your body, but must I listen to it too?"

"Cat got your tongue?"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'