Nocturnal Nibbler Prints

"That couple behind me seem happy enough. Laughing, bantering. Probably holding hands. Not a care in the world. I hate them. The waitress is cute. No eye contact however. And the coffee is cold. She hates me."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'Your night writing book, madam.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Pull and all nighter...

Things that go beep in the night.

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

My boat

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

Stormy Night

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'

Exercise for the end of the day...

"Look—there it goes again!"

Foodie Bank

"Jeff! Have you been sleepwalking again?!"

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"Why does she wait until I'm sleeping to knock the pencil around the apartment?"

Man eating 'after work mints'

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases