Nine Lives Philosophical Gifts

"The cake? I thought, sod it, YOL9."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Aging Support Group

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

'How a cat lands on all fours'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Who's Dead

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Women

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

A bull which has seen red.

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

Tom's last day.

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates