Nighttime Snacker Gifts

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

Bedside Manna.

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

Mouse shopping after hours

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

Pizza and Related Searches.

Lady has a coffee break.

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

'You were up four times last night.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

Diet Enforcer

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed