Midnight Snack Lover Gifts

"Is this by chance a private party?"

'Two for the fridge?'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Super Heroes.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Love is when you watch television together.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Stupid Microwave

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

Cookie Surveillance

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'