Midnight Snack Lover Gifts

"Is this by chance a private party?"

'Two for the fridge?'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Super Heroes.

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Love is when you watch television together.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

Cookie Surveillance