Nighttime Routine Pillows

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Late night teddy reading

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Toothbrush Romance

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

"Read it again, Daddy!"

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."