Nighttime Routines Pillows

'I gotta have a drink of water but not that stuff! I heard on TV it may be full of toxic chemicals!'

"If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours sleep and be all right. If I fall asleep now, I'll get four hours sleep and drink lots of coffee. If I wake up now, I can call in sick before anyone gets to the office..."

"The 3-D version sucks."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

Late night teddy reading

Security.

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'For God's sake come to bed Lennard, there hasn't been a burglary in this street for thirty-eight years!!'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

Bat

'She let the bedbugs bite.'