Nighttime Routine Relater Pillows

"Uh oh! This is my least-favourite part of the day."

Late night teddy reading

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"Read it again, Daddy!"

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."