Night Routines Pillows

"I can't sleep. I think I'll get up and solve all my problems."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

Late night teddy reading

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Toothbrush Romance

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

Bat

"Read it again, Daddy!"

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''