Nightmare Nostalgist Gifts

'Oh, no! It's the Boogie Man!'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

If you give a mouse a french cookie

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

Rapunzel as a child.

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

Boys happy playing and singing in the snow and ice

"I'm looking for a day care provider. . . besides TV."

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

"Someday we'll look back on these and-times and be really envious."

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

'I miss fighting who gets the front page of the paper first.'

"Sure, you don't know me now, but just wait 'til the year 2000...I'm the Millennium Bug."

Old Geriatric Hitchhiker holding a sign saying 'Last Fling',

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

'Elm and Oak? The streets were named after trees that were here before the developers cut them down.'

Son, when I went to school, I trudged for years knee-deep in student loans!

Snowglobe In Summer

'Your problem is that you're a Johnny Carson guy in a Jay Leno world.'

Art Gallery

"Sorry, Michael, but no dodge balls past this point."

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

'Which tape shall we watch, the wedding or the honeymoon?'

"Remember how much fun we had as kids? Ah, but this morning was a long time ago."

"These days, I suppose it doesn't matter whether you've read Thomas Mann or not."

"How we met is quite unusual, we met in a pub."

"Before attempting the glass slipper would you mind putting on this latex sock?"