Night Prowler Pet Story Gifts

'Look, no matter what happens, if anybody asks, I was here with you the whole night.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

"Sleep? Who needs sleep? It's time to PARTAY!"

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

Scary Face at Window

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

'I can't go to be now, Mom - I'm the target audience!'

Adult Education Center - Kids Learn Free

"Honey, you're sleepworking again."

'I'm thirsty!'

Stormy Night

You're too late. Someone else already seized the day.

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

"If any place is open at this hour. I need to pick up something from the 19th century."

"Look—there it goes again!"

Welcome Student Ministers: 'I hardly slept last night, with all the Bible thumping!'

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

Exercise for the end of the day...

Man trying to find the lock in the dark until dog switches on collar light.

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

Do you have any pull with the IRS?

Tradesman startles a man by trying to sell him a razor at night on a bridge

'Your father is just tired. He had to get a day job.'

"I'm getting too old to work the graveyard shift."

'My life is worse than yours' (24 hour pet supplies)

I stayed up late last night, then got up early, but I had to take several naps today

Winter Mornings