Nickname Collectors Pillows

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

'So anyway, there's lots of men named Robert who have nicknames like Bob, Bert, and even 'Roberta', Verl. . . I'm sure it's a Robert on Jerry's caller ID.'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Pet Cemetery.

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

Tom Cruise

What really became of the boy named Sue.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

"Nobody loved little William Poopy-Pants."

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

"These are my sons, Brayden, Caden, Aiden, and Maiden."

'Therefore I do christen this child 'Isyouis Oris You Ain't.''

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

Luna - short for Lunatic.

'Come on, I've been waiting twenty minutes.' - 'Shut up. I'm choosing a name for my baby.'

"Seriously? 'Stalin'? That's what you want to name him?"