Name Collector Pillows

PERSONNEL, 'This is terribly embarrassing -- I've been married so many times, I've forgotten my maiden name.'

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

'I've recently discovered that there's never been a hurricane named after me. See to it that the next one is.'

"I see John Smith still has an identity problem."

"You lead an interesting life, Miss Edwards."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

Pet Cemetery.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

'You shouldn't have.'

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

The Boss.

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Misery lit...

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

'How could a man who seduced a hundred and thirty-two women find the time to write a twelve-volume memoir?'

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

Things you say when you are officially old...

Waldo P. Smith, M.D., PH.D, J.D., M.B.A., $$$

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

Ted's ability to multitask was key to his firms, success.'

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

Tombstones with convention name tags

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

"Land salmon. . ."