Nice Guy Enthusiast T-Shirts

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

"Boy, that Isaac Newton is one smart cookie!"

'You can't get by on fluffiness forever!'

"And together they soldiered onward, to distant horizons more splendid than either of them had ever dared to dream."

She went as far as she could to get away from the paperwork.

A Cool Invisible Cow.

This is a library - no sonic booms, please.

'I just started at the bottom and I like it there!'

'...I'm taking 9 months off between the end of the summer hols and the start of my gap year...'

'We're making a fortune: I told you nobody can resist a Kitten & Puppy calendar!'

"How many times must I tell you not to speak metaphorically?"

Hippie Army Knife

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

'Nicholson is stressed out from teaching stress management classes!'

'Uh oh, looks like the prodigal son is back: That means a feast!'

"Well you guys are now on the naughty list!"

Today is the first day of the rest of your life... then again so is tomorrow.

'You wouldn't want to know.'

Down to earthworms.

"Forget it, Shamus, you won't find any truffles hanging around this dump."

Club Sketches - Cause and Effect.

Age Cannot Wither.

"Are all old folks this superstitious?"

"Thank, Baldo. You're such a gentleman, not like Joey. He's such an inconsiderate bum."