Nfl Commissioner Gifts

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Egyptian Football

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Now what?!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'Are you blind ref?'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

Referees at the Original Olympics.

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Red Card - Gold Card.

'He lost his whistle,'

Footballer playing for time

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'