Newspaper Recycler Gifts

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Maybe clean out your wallet

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Tree Funeral

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

"I hope I live long enough to see Bush's view of his legacy come true! I'll be around a long, long, long time!"

Horace Greeley's Storm Battered Coat and Hat

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

Dog fetching a newspaper and then reading it himself.

'That's nothing new. Thatcher had a similar plan, but she called hers; 'Every man for himself'.'

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

"Yes, it is strange...usually he reads the 'Daily Gossip'."

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

"Do we not come to this Redemption Center because we have refund value? Yes! But do not think you are worth but one nickel for that would be 'soft moralizing'."

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

'And you say dogs are smarter because they FETCH the paper!'

'Didn't you know that I read the comics every morning before I take the newspaper to Master?'

Cardboard, Paper, Comics.

Financial Times / Grandmother Prices