News Orchestrator Gifts

News.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

Musical Web

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

Remote work

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"I did not ram Preston Sturges down their throats."

"NAY!!"

"How many surprise witnesses do you have in that little car?"

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

Pablo Casals upset at interpretation of his work by young girl.

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

Tune Up Shop.

Crab conductor.

"I'm facing my fears in alphabetical order. How about you?"

Allegro

Hector Berlioz

"My husband works from home."

Business school: 'I plan to major in delegating.'

'Well, that IS the drawback of musical instruments - they make noise.'

Grand Opening

Dawn Chorus.

The Fiddler crab.

"Does wedding planning have to be this stressful?"

'Remember to stick on the mask if my wife ever comes visiting.'

I'd like a DJ, a videographer and 18 dozen red roses. Huh? The Websters can't be at the same table with the Steins. Oh no. I can't believe it. This isn't happening. Stand back, people. The tablecloths don't match the napkins. Type-A person planning a wedding!!! You father cannot make a toast.

"Oh, no, here comes my ex. Act like you're loaded!"

Gamblers Anonymous.

SUCKERS - A - BREAK, INC; 'Even...odd'