News Correspondents Gifts

'Georgia invaded Ossetia. Russia invaded Georgia. Our correspondent in Atlanta will explain that Americans have no idea what's going on.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Occu-Pie Mars

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'How fast can you hype?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

They're Not Just That Into It

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Press Freedom

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Coronavirus Waves

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

2020 Swiss barmy knife

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

News for Sale

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."